Daily Tasks

Today is Travs last day home on Paternity leave. BOO! I don’t know what I am going to do without him. He has played such a vital role in taking care of Clark and I for the past two weeks. CRAP…

Last night was the first time Clark slept in his bed, the whole night! No, he didn’t sleep through the night but he did let us put him back in his bed after each feeding. Unfortunately he woke up every two hours on the hour to eat, and put back almost 5 ounces each time. Must be a growth spurt! That makes me sad… I want him to stay tiny forever. I guess we are just going to
have to make more babies…

Today we are doing the final stuff that has to be done for Clark’s passport and social security card. My Dad is in the states and terminally ill so we are most likely going to be going to visit him within the next month or so, in order for him to meet his only grandson. I’m not going to go into details about his health but the passport is on the agenda for today.

We are also going to go to the Airfield about an hour away from here because my cousin is deploying for the next six months and he is flying in this evening. We aren’t sure if he is going to have a long lay over or if we are even going to be able to see him, but we are going to do our very best to sneak in a hug. I am baking cookies for him today. Even if we don’t get to see him and I don’t get to give him the cookies, I can mail them in the morning and they should be there to him within a few days. I have to admit, the Military Postal Service does a pretty good job of taking care of our soldiers. I think that as a whole we should be more appreciative of the service that our soldiers are providing. They risk their lives on a daily basis to make sure that we can sleep safe and sound in our beds at night. I don’t think that we do enough for them in return.

On the workout front, I was going to teach yoga this evening but am cancelling class due to our going to see my cousin. Hopefully I can sneak a walk in somewhere today, I’m sure that the dog will approve.

Happy Wednesday!

Life in my new world

I am so far behind I think that I’m first…

Life has been a little hectic around here with a new baby. Trying to get into a schedule is a little more difficult than expected. I have learned some hardcore facts though:

1. Shower when possible. Right after a feeding when the child is in a titty coma, or when daddy has him sleeping on his chest.
2. Sleep: HA, yeah right. Not good sleep, not going to happen. Even when the baby is sleeping I am so paranoid that he isn’t breathing that I can’t sleep well anyway.
3. Caffeine: There isn’t enough to sustain life in this house…
4. Diapers: This kid will poop and then wait to pee until there is a fresh diaper on, change it and he poops the new one… So plan on going through three to four diapers just at the changing table before all is said and done.
5. Loaded Weapon: My son is a loaded weapon. He will pee on anyone or anything you aim him at. He managed to pee on the computer at the doctor’s office. I totally gave him a high five on that one.
6. Testosterone: I need to have a little girl… NOW!!! At any given moment in my house there is a boy 1. Sleeping, 2. Eating 3. Pooping or farting. Between my husband, my son, and my dog I cannot walk into a room without expecting to smell a fart or soiled diaper nor expect to get out of that room without having to provide
some sort of snack or meal for one of the three…
7. Laundry: I seriously thought that I did loads of laundry before… HA HA HA I have officially turned into a stay at home mommy. Before children I wondered what
it was that these women did all day to keep busy. I know now that it is rid their homes of the smell of ass and laundry.

I am quite sure that I have plenty of more lessons in mommyhood coming my way, all of them add to this ever growing lesson in humility that donkey punched me during delivery, so if you are one of those people that I used to be, that turns your nose up at the moms who stay home and take care of their family and still manage to walk out of the house without looking like troll, or hell even the moms that walk out of the house looking like a troll, you should rethink your position because HOLY MOTHER OF GOD… This is the hardest job I’ve ever had.

Clark goes to the NICU

Baby Blog?

I wonder if this is starting to turn into a baby blog, I know that there are more things to come but right now my life revolves around Clark. I know that after a while, once we get into a routine, things will change. I will be starting my Body After Baby journey and writing about that. I have already started taking photos to show the progress that comes right after birth, without exercise, and once I swallow the sharp pill that comes with eyeing up my post baby body pictures I will post them for the entire world to see. I think that it is important for people to see what the body of a mother looks like. A real life woman, that isn’t touched up with air brushing or people to do her hair and makeup. So I will be posting those soon.

To continue from after the birth of Clark and to catch up to
today:

Clark had an infection in his blood when he was born. The doctors weren’t sure what it was from, something about my epithelial cells getting into his system and causing the levels to increase… Who knows. After he was born Travis and I were in pure bliss. We went back to our room, I took a shower (to the dismay of the midwife on duty, she couldn’t believe I was up and moving around), and then we had a couple of visitors. Jamie came back for a few hours, my friends Cassie and Agnes came to see the new addition and then around 8 we kicked them all out. I was TIRED. Travis had taken a nap while I was in the shower and cleaning myself up, I was still working on the 3.5 hours I had gotten from the night before. I put Clark in his bassinet and tried to get in a nap while he slept. Travis said that he would take diaper duty for the night but I figured that I would let him get as much sleep as possible, since I needed to feed Clark and then he could snuggle him all the next day while I napped. This lead to me getting roughly 4-5 hours of sleep through the night. Needless to say, I was tired again the next day.

Sunday brought more visitors, a short nap, lots of snuggling with Clark and going over the previous days events in my mind in complete disbelief about the fact that this cutie pie was in my belly less than 24 hours ago. I still can’t believe it! Then the doctors came in to get Clark, they wanted to run another blood test. They said that they wanted to check a liver level and that there wasn’t anything to worry about, they would send the results to Heidelberg and have him checked out the next day by the pediatrician. When they said they were sending the results to Heidelberg, I thought that they meant to the military hospital that we were supposed to go to for a three day checkup once we were dismissed, so I didn’t give it a second thought.

At 10PM the doctor came in and said, “I have bad news, Clarks got an infection and the doctors from the University Klinik are coming to get him, he needs to go to the NICU.” I am in the middle of breast feeding, and I don’t want to freak out but inside I’m screaming, “NO NO NO NO!!! NOT MY BABY!!!” Tears are streaming down my face, I’m trying to take in everything that she is saying, a million thoughts are swirling around in my head, and I just don’t want to let go of my little boy. She says she will be back as soon as they get there.

She isn’t gone for more than ten minutes and a nurse comes in, she only speaks German, she says, “The doctors are here to take your son.” I somehow manage not only to ask her if the doctor is coming to our room, but I manage it in perfect German (something usually allocated for drunken evenings when I have lost all inhibitions in my foreign tongue). She tells me no, that we are supposed to go to him. So I wrap Clark up in a blanket and snuggle him close, with tears running down my face we make the walk to the doctors office. This was the longest walk of my life, dread, fear and pain… I cannot describe the feelings that come over you when you are so completely helpless. I hand Clark over to the doctor who explains that she is going to put in an IV, and then we can come back. Travis and I go and sit in the hallway andwait…

After the IV is inserted the doctor tells me that if my doctor will release me then we are able to go to the NICU with Clark, that the KinderKlinik believes that it is more beneficial to the child to have his mother by his side, they will provide a bed for me to sleep next to him. I LOVE THE GERMAN HEALTHCARE SYSTEM!!!! She also tells me that I cannot ride in the ambulance because it is full, that Travis will have to drive me. UM OKAY!!! GET ME THE EFFF OUTTA HERE!!! I haul ass to my room, pack my shit in less than two minutes and head to see my doc. She does a check of the girl bits to see how they are healing, and then gives Travis a five minute spiel about aftercare, the only comment that I hear is, “Mr. Dixon I am going to direct this to you because I’m sure that your wife is not going to remember any of it, her mind is with her son.” GENIUS!!! This must not be her first trip to the rodeo…

Travis and I are off to Heidelberg… When we get there we go to the 10th floor, I walk in and ask for my son. A wonderful woman that speaks broken English (Much better than my German) takes me to Clark. She has made a bed for me next to his and is explaining that I can stay until he is able to leave. She then says, “he can sleep with you but I would prefer it if he slept in his bed.” She has him attached to a heart rate monitor and an O2 monitor; she has already changed his diaper and is asking me about how I prefer to feed him. I am a wreck. Travis gets me settled and stays with me for a few hours. I tell him he should go home and get some rest; it looks like this is going to be a long road to hoe.

Travis heads home and Clark and I try to settle in for the night. Clark starts to get cranky. I feed him every hour but it isn’t making him any better. Ingrid, the night nurse that has been so kind, comes in with a pacifier; she asks me if it is okay to give it to him. I have read that this isn’t a great idea for mothers who are trying to breastfeed because it can cause problems but Clark is inconsolable, I agree to let her. I cry… A LOT. The night is long, I don’t sleep, I can barely breath, there are so many questions, I want to make my baby better, I am helpless.

Travis comes back to the hospital, Clark is still inconsolable, the pacifier is starting to lose its luster, I have no breast milk yet, and colostrum isn’t cutting it. A new nurse comes in and asks if she can feed him with some formula, I cry even more… My poor baby is sick and he is hungry, I know that he needs the calories to fight this infection, I allow it but not without a lot of tears. I am not whaling or throwing a temper tantrum, I haven’t yet, I just have these silent tears constantly streaming down my face, I can’t do anything for my son, I am tired, weak, and slowly losing my mind.

The day goes by, the doctors come in for rounds. This is a teaching hospital so there are multiple people in the room explaining what the next steps are, we are going to be here for 7 days, 5 days of antibiotics and two days of testing his levels after the antibiotics to ensure that he is recovering. These “doctors” all look like babies themselves, I can’t get past how young they are. Holy moly.

The day starts to wear me down, Travis says that he wants me to go home for the night. I don’t want to hear it, what kind of mother goes home when she can stay with her baby? I am refusing… He is adamant. It takes me calling my two best friends, my sister, my dad and my mom to finally decide that he might be right, maybe I need to get some rest to be able to take care of my son. It has been four nights since I last slept more than two hours at a time. My body is breaking and my brain is fried. I say goodbye to Clark and Travis basically drags me out of there.

At home I am a wreck, I want to be with my son, I cannot concentrate on what I need to be doing. I decide that a shower is in order and then a beer and some sleep. The shower is wonderful; I just let the water run down my back and chest, I am starting to relax, just a little. I go down stairs and drink my first beer since February and it is GOOD!!! Travis puts me in bed and heads off to Heidelberg to be with our boy. He stays with Clark for hours, he feeds him, snuggles him and gives him the love that he needs.

The next morning I wake up with a surprise! MILK!!! Lots and lots of milk! My tits are HUGE!!! I yell, “Babe, wake up! We have to get to the hospital! I need to feed my baby!”

We get to the hospital too late, by an hour. I have to wait for Clark to wake up so I can feed him. He eats like a champ. We have to weigh him before and after each feeding to see how much milk he is getting. He averages between 70-80 ml, roughly 3.5ounces. I am super excited!!! Then I learn to pump off the rest of my milk for stockpile. Travis has decided that it is best for me to go home at night to get caught up on rest before Clark comes home for good. That means I really need to stockpile; I am only pumping around 40ml after each feeding… So our schedule goes like this, feed Clark, Clark sleeps, I pump, change diaper, feed, Clark sleeps, I pump… etc. At night I go home, Clark eats his weight in stockpiled liquid gold and I come back in the morning to feed him. The cycle starts over. We do this for four days.

On Thursday the chief of the NICU comes in and tells us that because Clark is recovering so well and putting on weight, he is going to let us leave on Friday instead of Monday, provided we see our pediatrician on Monday. YAY!!!! Friday comes and we get the okay to get out of there. We are on our way home to start our new life with our new baby! You’ve never seen two people happier than Travis and I!

Clark meets the world... Part 3

We last left off with my breakfast pastry giving me the low down on the possible side effects of the epidural…

I sign the paperwork and Croissant gets to relieving me of my pain. He gives me a trial shot to see if the catheter is placed properly, I have to sit on my rear for ten minutes to see if it is going to work. This means that I am going to have to suck up three contractions on my butt, which is like a living nightmare, and then sweet relief!!!

I want to kiss Croissant! I swear to him that if I wasn’t married I
would propose right then and there. He gives me the real deal and then my eyes uncross themselves, I am no longer on the verge of turning into Linda Blair and spewing pea soup from my spinning head, and I am now able to concentrate on the fact that I will be meeting my sweet little boy soon. The best part was that I was given a walking epidural so I was able to walk to the restroom, still in my fashionable panties and tank top, and back. I could do squats and sit on a medicine ball to assist Clark in dropping. I dilated to 9cm within 20 minutes. It was quick!

I asked Jamie to go to my room and get my makeup bag. Travis gave me stink eye and said, “Really? You need makeup? “To which I replied, “yes, we are meeting an important person today; I need to look my best.” The first part was reference to a comment made by the husband of a girl who’s blog I read and I thought it was such a sweet comment; Travis knew what I was referencing. Jamie came back with the makeup, I fixed myself, she braided my hair, and then I was ready to go. Or so I thought…

I started to do squats to help Clark out, as I stood up from a squat I felt like I
needed to go to the bathroom, I said to Jamie, “I need to poop.” Heike had just happened to have walked into the room as I said that, I was a little embarrassed, and she said, “Did you just say you need to poop?” “Um, yes.” Heike started to laugh… I thought that she was just laughing at my silliness again. Nope, she wasn’t. She looked me dead in the eye and said, “you don’t need to poop, you need to have a baby.” “No, really, I just need to poop, I’m sure.” So she said that she would check my progress and then we would see who was right, she had me get on the bed and she checked…

Nope, you need to have a baby. When you get the urge to push, start pushing. So I got in a squatting position to see if that would be a comfortable way to have the baby. Nope. Back on my back, and then Heike made me roll onto my left side and hike my right leg up. She then said it is time to push. So I thought that I’d give it a test run to see if I was pushing the way that I was supposed to and to see if I was going to feel better. That test run put Clark right where he needed to be. We were off…

So at this point Travis is on my left, Jamie on my right, Heike is next to Jamie on the business end of the deal, there are two doctors,one at 1200 and one at 1030 on the business end; they are all telling me to push. I give a fairly decent push and their eyes light up. They all look crazed and are urging me to continue, “GOOD, Keep going, we can see his head!” To which I reply, “I don’t believe you, you’re all lying.” It is starting to hurt when I push but when I stop pushing the urge to continue is stillthere, the pressure is still there, and the desire to go home and take a nap is kicking in.

I look at Travis and say, “I can’t do this.” He replies, “Yes you can; you are doing it.” That irritates me, he doesn’t realize that I’m serious, I really cannot do this. I look down at Heike, “I really don’t think that it is time. I just want to go poop and go home. I will come back tomorrow and we can try again.” She chuckles and says, “no, you are going to push this baby out now.” So I push, they get excited, I push a little harder, more excitement, I rest.

Then one of the doctors decides to give me a pep talk... "It is like running a marathon, you just..." I interupt her, "this is nothing like running a marathon, I've done that! I'll do that again! This is worse! MUCH WORSE!!!"

Here is where the tides turn. Heike tells me, “you need to push when you
feel a contraction.” The problem, I tell her, is that I can no longer feel those contractions because there is just a constant pressure from Clark being lodged in my birth canal. She replies, “so push.” I push and push and push. They all get very excited, “YOU’RE DOING IT. PUSH!!! JUST LIKE THAT!!!” His head is out! I look at Travis and am done, “babe, I can’t do anymore. I’m done.” He leans in close to my face and says, “keep pushing, you’re doing great.” I snap, "GET OUT OF MY FACE!” (I later learn that I simultaneously cocked my right fist back and Jamie thought I was going to cold cock him) He backs up. The room is spinning, the walls are closing in, I push. Through the push I manage to look down and see a flash, the light slicing through the air and shining back on me from sharpened metal. SCISSORS!!! My favorite doctor is holding a pair of effing scissors and she is aiming them at my girl bits! WTF!!!???!!!

I reach for Travis, butt walking up the bed and yelp, “Don’t do it! Don’t cut me! I can’t, I swear, I’ll push!” I go for broke! I push with every ounce of energy I have, thinking that if I push with all of my might she won’t have to cut me. WRONG!!!!! She did it. No local. No warning. No F-you. No flowers. No drinks. No bullshit! She just does it.

Now I am pissed. Not really pissed at the doc or anyone in particular, just pissed. I push harder than I have ever thought imaginable; my face is smooshed partially into the bed and partially into Travis. I feel Clark fly out. I look down, he is a blue baby. They are removing the cord from around his neck, rubbing him with towels to get him to perk up and to give him a little bit of a cleaning off.

I’m on my back so fast it makes my head spin. I am ripping my shirt off and attempting to get my bra off, I want skin to skin contact and I want it NOW!!! I can’t get my bra, it is a sports bra and it is giving me some serious grief, I am fighting with it and finally I bark out, “get this damn thing off of me, I don’t care if you have to cut it off!” Jamie helps me out of it and I start reaching for my baby.They get Clark cleaned off and put him in my arms, I cry…

The doctor asks Travis if he wants to cut the cord. He does. I don’t see any of it, I am staring at my little boy and I can’t get over his little face. He is beautiful! His nose is a bit bruised from labor and he has a few blood vessels busted in his eyes but he is BEAUTIFUL!!!

Jamie says goodbye, she is crying and is walking away spouting something about family time, etc. I don’t argue because I’m engrossed in this little boy that has just changed my world in the blink of an eye. Travis joins us and we just stare at Clark.

I am no longer the same person. The world is no longer the same place.

Clark Meets The World... Part 2

The last post we left off with the doctor telling me to relax about the possibility of having to go through two more days of unproductive contractions before meeting my son… What an ass!!!

Travis and I headed back to our hospital room to try and get some sleep. He nodded off in a heartbeat, I tossed and turned for a bit and then finally fell off. Around 330 in the morning I woke up to go to the bathroom. I finished in the restroom and get back in bed. Maybe ten minutes later I hear what sounds like someone snapping a rubber band on my skin and feel a thump dead center of my stomach just below my navel. “What the heck was that?” I wonder and get out of bed by pure instinct, and then the water flows….

“Um, Monkey (this is my nickname for Travis), I think my water broke.” He wakes up and groggily says, “What makes you think that?” The reason he asks this and doesn’t
immediately jump out of bed is because I’m like the girl who cried wolf… I had said these five words to him multiple times throughout my pregnancy because (TMI WARNING) you are not able to prepare for the amount of discharge that you will have during pregnancy, you will at one point or another think that your water has broken, when in reality it is just your vagina giving you a little jump start to your day.

I digress, back to his question, “what makes you think that?” “Uh, er, um the puddle of water I’m standing in.” Now he is out of the bed! I didn’t even see him move the blankets or strip of his pjs, he is like Clark Kent in a telephone booth, all I know is that he is at my side fully dressed and all of a sudden the first MIND BLOWING,KNEE BUCKLING, PUNCH YOUR MOTHER IN THE MOUTH CONTRACTION hits. I grab the end of the bed, lean over and say, “HOLY FUCK!!!!” More water… The contraction subsides and I head to the bathroom to remove my soaked pants and underwear and change. No sooner than I get up from the toilet, WHAM!!! Next contraction. This one makes me crossed eyed, my life flashes before my eyes, the room spins… What the fuck have I signed up for? Why in god’s name do people have more than one child?

Travis calls my friend Jamie and tells her to get to the hospital, the water busted, the contractions are started and it is go time! He and I head to the delivery room. As we walk in I say to the midwife, “I think my water broke.” She looks at my soaking wet pants and the trail of amniotic fluid that I’ve left behind in order to find my way home and says, “I think so.”

Jamie walks in. I don’t know how the time seems to be passing so quickly, it is almost 5 and I am having these horrible contractions back to back it seems, they are coming every 3 minutes and they are mother effing relentless. The midwife offers me a large sanitary pad to catch the fluid so that I don’t flood the room, she then hands me a pair of white, throw away, medical panties. These things are quite possibly the ugliest things you could imagine. I immediately put them on and in my “HIGH” from not being in the middle of a contraction proceed to dance and sing, “I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly, I don’t think you’re ready, cause my body’s too bootylishous for ya babe!” While simultaneously rubbing my big ass and baby bump. The midwife, Travis, and Jamie all start laughing hysterically, Jamie snaps a photo… (don’t think you’re getting a view… not gonna happen)

The next contraction hits like a frying pan to the face! I’m bent over the bed, Travis is rubbing my lower back trying to apply counter pressure, I think this is where the BITCH comes in. “Harder!” I snap. He obliges. The contraction is gone. I sit on a medicine ball, and try to go through the next contraction on that, it doesn’t help. Back to the bed on my hands and knees, Travis rubbing my lower back, I am swaying my hips left to right. Jamie steps to my right side, she thinks that I am about to fall off the bed because my knee is so close to the edge. I am trying to breathe through them, they keep coming, the pain is worsening. I am starting to freak out. I have to pee, take me to the bathroom. We walk to the bathroom, Travis, Jamie, Heike (the midwife), and me in my lovely underwear and a tank top. Thank god it is the crack of damn dawn and there isn’t anyone in the hallway to witness this madness. I know for a fact I look like a crazy person. Jamie has been pouring cold water on my neck because I’m so hot, my hair is like medusa, and I’m in
medicinal drawers… MRS. AMERICA HERE I COME!!!

We get to the bathroom, this room is the size of a closet, not a walk in closet, a shoe closet, there are three of us in there and my IV cart, it is hot, it is cramped, and I start another contraction. I then proceed to have an anxiety attack… “Travis, I cannot do this. I want to go home. I will come back tomorrow and try again, I promise. I want to go home.” I use his first name for emphasis, so that he knows that I am serious. He tries to calm me by telling me how awesome I am, how I am already doing such a great job and how he knows that I can get through this. I am pissed. He isn’t listening. I really can’t do this. I look Heike straight in the eye and say, “Heike, I need medicine. Get me the epidural.” She knows that I am serious. I have, for the past 40 hours, turned down every offer of medicinal assistance for this journey, she can see the severity in my face, she heads for the paperwork.

We walk back to the delivery room; another contraction takes my breath away. Heike returns with the paperwork to fill out for the epidural, she hands it to Travis and says, “you need to fill this out with your wife.” He takes the clipboard, another contraction hits, Travis puts the clipboard down to assist me and I snarl, “FILL OUT THE PAPERWORK. NOW!” He withdraws himself from assisting with counter pressure… He fills out the paperwork and takes it back to the midwife. She says, “the anesthesiologist will be here shortly.” I do not believe a word of it, they are never able to make it in “shortly”, they usually take forever.

Within thirty minutes Heike tells me that the doctor is in, he is in the next room going over my chart and will be in to talk to me within minutes. Contraction…

In walks Lurch from the Addams family, this guy has to be 6’9 and skinny skinny skinny. He introduces himself, “Helloooo, my name is Croissant.” I don’t know what catches my attention first, the fact that he is speaking so slowly that he sounds as if he hit up some of the pain meds before making his way down to the delivery room, or the fact that he just said his name is Croissant. I look at Travis, “Did he just say his name is Croissant?” To which Travis replies, “yes, like the breakfast pastry.” I think I might have just died…

Croissant then proceeds to take ten minutes explaining the procedure and the possible side effects or negative results. With each side effect he counters with, “but that isn’t likely.” I’m thinking, “if it isn’t likely, shut the eff up and give me the meds!” He asks if I want to proceed. I am in mid contraction and
grabbing the paperwork to sign it… HELL YEAH I WANT TO!!!!

Next Post… Pain Meds and Delivery…

Clark’s Big Entrance (Part 1)…

We went to the hospital on Thursday the 17th to have a stress test done to check and see if everything was fine with Clark. I had been fighting a headache for the past day and a half and my blood pressure was above normal so the doctors decided that it was time to induce labor.

The German doctors don’t start with Pitocin like they do in
the states, they start with a pill that I can’t remember the name of. So at 2PM on Thursday the 17th they gave me 50mg and put me on a stress test monitor to see if the contractions would start. Within twenty minutes I started to have contractions that were coming every 3 – 5 minutes apart but were still pretty mild. They measured my cervix and told me that it was 1cm, and that it was soft so they didn’t expect the process to take too long, hopefully we would be in full labor by midnight, that Clark would be around on the 18th. Talk about an excited mommy.

Four hours later, they checked again… 1cm, now up the dose to 75mg… This caused stronger contractions coming around 3 minutes apart. These contractions were still bearable by a long shot and so we started to walk the halls of the hospital, up and down the stairwell, through the wards, and back. My really good friend Jamie came and kept me company. The plan was for her to stay through the delivery to help coach me through the rough patches if Travis got tired. So we walked, and walked, and walked.

Another four hours passed, 100mg, more contractions. The contractions were getting stronger and stronger. I tried to make sure that I kept a relaxed face and body so that the contractions could do their job and open the cervix. My mantra was, “good poop face.” I know this is ridiculous, but really, think about it, you cannot tense your jaw up while saying, “good poop face,” it is physically impossible. After another four hours passed they decided no more pills that I should try to get some sleep and we would begin again in the morning. They asked if I wanted pills to stop the contractions so that I could sleep. I figured that would be counterproductive and declined. Off to our room we go. (the best part about the German health system, at least at my hospital, is that they let the husband stay in the room too. Albeit for a fee, but still) It was now 2 in the morning and they wanted us to be back again at 6AM. So as I lay there trying to sleep while contracting every 3 minutes, I
listened to Travis breath heavily in his bed and waited. I remember thinking that today will be the day that I get to meet my little boy… I’m sorry, you just can’t sleep knowing that something so awesome is about to happen. It was like Christmas Eve hopped up on a vile or two of crack.

6AM 18 Nov: off we go from our hospital room to the delivery room for another stress test and another dose of contraction kickers… This time they immediately go to 100mg… the contractions remain the same. Four hours later they give me another 100mg,
this time the contractions pick up in intensity. We repeat this cycle for the rest of the day, every four hours we get another 100mg of meds and the contractions increase. Sometime around 3pm they check to see how far I have dilated… 1cm… I cry… I cannot believe that I have now been in labor, though not tough labor but still labor, for 24 hours and I have not gotten past a single effing centimeter. WTF???

The cycle continues… Midnight comes and they check me for dilation again. Do you want to guess how far I progressed? ZERO, NADA, ZILCH, NOTHING!!!! Still 1cm. ARE YOU SHITTING ME???? I cry some more… The doctor tells me to go get some rest, come back tomorrow morning at 6 and we will begin again. She follows this with a comment that I imagine she thought she was consoling me with, and here is where you realize that some things just don’t translate… She says, “Don’t get discouraged, it takes some women three days of this to get results.” HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!!! I cry harder…

To Be Continued…

Turkey Day!!!

Turkey Day!

I wrote this post on Thanksgiving Day. I am posting on Saturday the 26th. We are celebrating Thanksgiving today though we are thankful everyday for the blessings that the Lord has provided for us.

Last night Clark ate his weight in breast milk. Okay, so not really. He did however eat 280ml of breast milk from 10 until 230 am. His last feeding he ate 130ml in one sitting. He then proceeded to sleep for over five hours. Talk about a food coma… He clearly knows how to start Turkey Day out right!

Speaking of starting Turkey Day out right, one of the long standing traditions in my life is having something go absolutely WRONG on Thanksgiving. It has happened almost every year for as long as I can remember and I am not at ease about the day until it does happen. Here are a few examples of Thanksgiving Day disasters in the past:

1995, Age 14: To me Thanksgiving dinner is not dinner unless
there are sweet potatoes, this year it is my mother’s job to make them to take
to my Grandmother’s house. She fails at time management and doesn’t make them… I refuse to leave our house and go to my grandmother’s because IT IS NOT DINNER WITHOUT SWEET POTATOES!!! (Drama Queen Much???)

My mother left me at home. I called my father in Virginia so that he could talk me through making the things myself. Then I called my mom and told her she could come get me and the sweet potatoes… Life was better.

1999, Age 18: My first year out of the house and my two roommates and I are throwing a huge Thanksgiving for our friends that don’t have family close by (we lived near a military post and there were lots of single soldiers that wanted a good meal). One of my roommates, her boyfriend, and I did all of the cooking except for the bird, that was the third roommates job. So this 3rd roommate would casually come into the kitchen every now and again and check the bird then she would go sit on her but and watch the parade and generally screw off, whilst the rest of us toiled over the stove and in ovens near and far. I am in charge of broccoli casserole, stuffed
mushrooms, mashed potatoes, and SWEET POTATOES…

This year I decide that I am going to make two different batches, the first out of canned yams (the only way I’ve done it since 14) and homemade by boiling sweet potatoes and mashing them, etc. I make them, they are BEAUTIFUL! We set all of the food up in the kitchen because it is getting close to go time, then enters roommate #3… She scurries in, pushes everyone out of the kitchen, and pulls the bird out of the oven. She has not made room to put the bird on the counter beforehand and proceeds to use the pan to shove things aside to make room… A casserole dish hits the floor… I hear roommate #2’s boyfriend say, “Oh Shit! J is going to be mad.”
That’s me, J. “Um, what the hell happened?” Boyfriend: “The sweet potatoes went
down.” The next few minutes are a blur… I am pretty sure I blacked
out from anger and frustration.

Were they the homemade ones? The canned yams? What is going on? Really, you lazy wench? You just shove things out of the way? What the EFF?????

Luckily, they were the canned yams, and the homemade sweet potatoes turned out fabulous. Roommate #3 made it out alive and all was well in the world again.

2000, Age 19: My boyfriend and I live together and we decide to have a small Thanksgiving with just one other couple. We do all of the cooking, they come over for dinner and we are enjoying a few drinks. We set the food out on the microwave
stand and move it closer to the dinner table for easy access. Just before we serve ourselves the cat walks over, jumps up on the microwave stand and directly into the SWEET POTATOES!!! Marshmallows get stuck to her paws, she is running around flapping her paws while simultaneously trying to run for her life because I’m quite sure that I’ve got the butcher knife out swearing to mutilate her tail… I calm down, we clean the cat, and assess whether or not the sweet potatoes are recoverable. They aren’t, we eat the rest of the meal laughing about the misfortune.

2003, Age 22: Basic Training… That should be enough said, right? Wrong! Not only am I in basic training away from my entire family, no I am in the infirmary with the worst case of the flu I’ve ever had. Fever, vomit, sweats, etc. It is awful! I
can’t keep down fluids much less food. Doesn’t look like sweet potatoes are in
my immediate future. Then to top it all off, (TMI WARNING!!! Only proceed if you are twisted like me) the Doc prescribes me a suppository to combat the nausea.
Well that would be all good and well, but come to find out… I am allergic to this thing. So now I’ve got a jelly bullet up my ass that is making it burn to high heaven and I cannot get it out! I’m sitting on the toilet praying to GOD to give me the shits, make me pass out, anything just get this thing out!!!! Needless to say, I got it out! I won’t go into details…

There are many more thanksgiving day “bloopers” in our family history but I will save those for another time…

However, the one true and solid turkey day tradition that will last a lifetime is the tossing of sweet potatoes on the floor. We now take a single spoon full
of sweet potatoes as soon as they come out of the oven and drop it on the floor. This is our way of taking the mess into our own hands. It may not keep us from gaining new and interesting stories to add to our collection of Thanksgiving Day blunders, because realistically speaking any holiday that includes lots of food and drink, extended family, friends and fun will ultimately have a snafu or funny tale to go along with it, and for that I am Thankful!!

But most of all, I am thankful for my little family, I have the best husband anyone could ever hope for, we are blessed to have the sweetest little boy to love and cherish, we’ve got our second son Buddy that loves us unconditionally, and we have our health. I am thankful for an all knowing and caring GOD that has carried us through the past week and given us hope and courage when we were truly in the dark about our little boy’s health. I am thankful for the friends and family that
surrounded us with love and prayers when we needed it most. I am truly thankful!!

Hopefully today will be our last full day and night in the hospital and they will give us early release for good behavior tomorrow. Then we can celebrate our Thanksgiving on Saturday.For this year’s Thanksgiving we might not be eating the
traditional Thanksgiving dinner, but we are spending the day together as a family and that is all that matters to us!

We even brought “National Lampoons: Christmas Vacation” to watch
together as a family. Watching that movie on Thanksgiving has become one of our traditions over the past few years. It starts off the holiday season and gets us ready to decorate the Christmas tree. The Christmas decorations will come out on Sunday, the tree will go up, and hopefully we will get a few good photos of our family gathered near it this year.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Clark Made His Debut!!!

Clark made his debut on Saturday the 19th of November at 12:47pm. He was 8lbs 7oz, 22 inchces long! He is my little viking!

We have had a very interesting and eventful start to our new family, I will post the entire saga as soon as I am able.

J

Still no baby

So Clark's "medical" due date, based on the first day of the last menstral cycle, was on Saturday and he was a no show... I know for a fact that he was conceived on the 22nd of Feb because I was charting my monthly cycle, so his actual due date is TODAY!!!

He still has not made too many signals of wanting to make an appearance. Fingers crossed he will get it together and come soon, I am starting to get impatient.